EastCoastFog,

Hey. I'm a spouse of someone w/ PTSD from war trauma. I've been where you are at. It is like they are pulling you in with one had and pushing away with the other and it is soooooo confusing and emotionally draining. My experience is that when I tried to walk away from the relationship (because that is what I thought he wanted) he would be the one calling me back in. We are newly married and have just suffered a tough spot. He knows he has PTSD but refuses treatment. Today, after some real honest talk, things seem to be a little better. When things are good....they are sooooo good and when they are bad...it hurts everywhere.

I think she is very lucky to have you in her life. If you can take the friend role for a while....maybe that's what you both need. It's okay to love her from a distance if that is where she's at. Just be there for her, make sure she knows that you are there for her, and be patient. She's very scared and can only try to protect herself.

Hang in there and keeping checking on this site. It helps so much and we are all here for you.