I was in the Air Force for 19 years and was medically retired at the end of '04. The military diagnosis for my condition was depression but I've since learned that what I really have is PTSD. I had never been in combat in the military and, according to their definition of PTSD, that is the only way you can get this condition. My job was organizing responses to emergencies. I enabled the base to respond to real world and wargame emergency situations. For over 10 years I worked in a room with no windows, fighting WWIII over and over again in wargames and responding to aircraft and personnel emergencies. At one base, 7 people died over a three month period in fatal car crashes while I was working and I had to notify all the commanders on base every time it happened. Add to this stress the fact that I worked rotating shifts (three 12-hour day shifts, 3 days off, 3 12-hour night shifts) most of that time and what you got was PTSD. I have migraine headaches, insomnia and panic attacks. I am seeing a therapist but will be moving soon outside the US so I thought I'd give this format a try for working out my feelings.