ECF,

I'm with Anthony. They will tell you all sorts of bs to get you to back off because it is hard for them emotionally. What they don't realise, often until it is too late, is that the journey is made much easier by someone who cares about them supporting them. I'm just too stubborn to give up on Anthony, in fact I'm like that with everyone I care about, takes a lot before I will throw my hands up in despair and walk. Anthony told me heaps that he was going or that I should go, I told him to 'bite me' as I just don't give up that easy. He didn't make it easy for me but I still have this theory that underneath all that boofhead exterior is someone with a deeper emotional capacity and love for me and our children than he will let himself believe. I have seen it rarely but I believe it exists.

I'm not suggesting that my stubborn approach will work for you. Anthony and I are very pigheaded so I guess he could see where I was coming from. I guess at the moment you don't really have anything to lose by approaching her. From what you have described, I am convinced that she cares but is running scared at the moment. You can't really blame her, her last partner was a bast$%^ and her little one has been through enough rubbish. How does she know that you are trustworthy and have her best interests at heart? The only way that she will know is if you tell her and tell her again and again.

Another thing that has just come to mind which I used to say to Anthony, is that it is not really his choice to decide for me. If he really didn't want me there then that was one thing but as far as I could see I was an adult and free to make my own choices. I knew what I was getting into (well I thought I did) and if he loved me, as I did him then it is my choice to stay and support.

Oh and just so you know, I have yet to meet someone with PTSD who can handle phones. Anthony wouldn't even have a home phone if it weren't for me. When we first started dating, I had to ring him a couple of times just to get him to come to the phone. He used to get his housemates to answer it for him and say he wasn't home. I used to get offended but then I learnt that he is like that with everyone and so are others with PTSD. Hope this helps, please keep posting. Take care of you.