Miander, have you ever been prescribed med.s to help you when you are in this state of mind?
I was always afraid that med.s would control me, and I wasn't going to have anyone or anything control me ever again. I did try them, but found what I was given didn't help. But have since realized sometimes I need more then my own protection.
There is a medication Propranolol, which is a beta-blocker, and usually is used for the likes of high blood pressure and such, but they found it is also good for some with ptsd. With me it lowers my adrenalin flow, like a mild tranquilier. I also take xanax when I am in a high state of agitation. And also take a anti-depressant, lexapro, which is also an anti anxiety medication, because I have anniversaries through out the year that can elevate my flashbacks, or cause deep depressions.
No medication will make them go away, just easier to cope with.
I have been where you are right now, and know it is no picnic.
If you ever get to the point right now, where you just can't cope, go to the e.r. hun, if you can't get to a doctor in time. What you are going through is just as serious as any physical ailment. You need assistance with your anxiety.