Welcome back CL... its actually a good sign that you went to that place, because now you just proved to yourself that you can come back out of it... pushing yourself will put you there, but each time you come out, "there" gets much less, to the point where you can push yourself with little to no after effect. Basically, experience makes us better and shows us how to mentally cope with issues again, instead of just getting severely depressed. Learn from our experience, learn from our mistakes...