Until about 4 months ago, I was drinking every night after work. My depression is still sometimes so powerful I feel as if the air is being sucked out of my lungs. So I very much understand where you are. Reading your posts and those of others is helping to shine some light for me. I didn't think I'd post here more than once, but I keep coming back. The fact that you've written here is a sign of hope and strenght. And it helps open the world at bit for me. Good luck to you.