Along with healing and being more aware why and what exactly it is happening has made me better able to cope. As my therapist told me, the first two Junes that I lost it my body was simply remembering all those traumas and it just bubbled out of control. And now to add to it my body also recalls the intense panic attacks at those times and tries to keep doing the same thing.

I hope you get to a point that your anniversary is bearable. If I were not on medication I would not be coping as well, but understanding that I do need it at a higher dose to handle it is not the end of the world. Hell, even my therapist who is not too crazy about meds wanted me taking them to help me limp through the month in one piece. Surprisingly I am not taking as much as I thought I would simply by knowing and accepting what is happening to me and taking extra gentle care of myself.

I hope again you learn to weather June, it is a major area for me.