I feel the need to enter more info into my diary but not sure if it is the correct thing to do at this stage in my mess. Anthony wants me to do some mental imagery but I must confess that it scares the hell out of me and have pretty much refused to do it.

There is an incident in my life that "I" have chosen to ignore 99% og the time and did not mention to anyone, ever. A period in my life I would rather be able to forget or block out of my mind. Unfortunately, this is the one thing that I do remember and quite vividly I might add.

I was dating a fellow and as usual with me I decided to live with him before getting to know him very well. You would think afer years of poor choices in men I would have learned my lesson, but NO I chose to do it again. Late 1 evening we were argueing about something ????? when out of the blue, he picked me up and threw me across the room(Not an easy task since I am 6 feet tall and 185lbs) but he did it. He then jumped on top of me, pinning my shoulders on the floor and proceeded to choke me. It is true that your life flashes through your mind. I instantly thought about my daughter and how she would never know what happened to me. I have no idea why he let me go, but he did.

He picked me up and did what they all do--Oh honey I'm sorry I'll never hurt you again! Well, spent the night not sleeping in bed next to him. Went to work the next morning, saw a co worker and fell completely apart. Told my story and proceeded to go to the local police station, had him arrested and put in jail. Followed through with the court date and he got a 30 day suspended sentence which left him free to stalk me and stalk me and stalk me. This was in 1980 before stalking laws were available so finally my company transfered me. End of story I guess. He found me once by phone and call me at work which did send me screaming from my job, but never heard from him again and the ironic part of this is I CAN NOT REMEMBER HIS NAME---only the event and his face