Hi Clara,

Welcome to the forum. You know, from everything you said, you are just normal you know... with a little thing called PTSD added.

The suicidal thoughts are an issue clara, even if you have them under control, because you stated you have made attempts, which is a huge cry for help, and that is what we are here to do.

Guessing if you have PTSD is not really a good option, you need to get yourself assessed by a trauma expert to find out for sure exactly what is wrong. If you are not having anger, anxiety and depression issues, then you certainly don't need medication, as that would most likely only worsten the suicidal thoughts.

It is great that everything is now coming through for you, but if that is the case, and you do have PTSD, then your going to get a huge symptom outbreak soon, one which you know is coming I think, but you need to be prepared for it and have doctors to fall back upon if you need them for immediate medication to help suppress some of the initial problems. Even better, track down a good naturopath in your area and go and discuss your suicidal thoughts and possible PTSD with them, and see if they can give you something that is a bit less effective on the body side effect wise, but hits the core of the problem.

Your doing great clara, just by posting here, a big step forward. Diagnosis is a must, so your not gambling with your illness.