That is the strangest part of this! I actually have no memory or feeling from this incident. It feels as if I am writing a report on something I read. It is all like a matter of fact. No emotions Just facts. The only sense of emotion is regarding the rest of the night. I spent it laying on the edge of the bed--as close as I could get to the edge. I needed as much space as possible away from him. And yet I did not leave. My feeling is if I moved he would wake up and do it again.

I can see in my minds eye the entire apartment and his face and the entire apt.complex. But my feelings and emotions are totlly numb. Anthony, this scares me I feel NOTHING!!!! That is not a very good sign, is it? I know I went to work the next day and to the police and eventually to court but there is no feeling or emotion attched to any of these events. Again it is like doing a book report on a lousy book I had read.

What does the lack of emotion mean? I am actually numb reliving this event and really have no feelings! In fact, the feeling is one of detachment. Quite unnerving