wierd, I lost my job on Thursday. When that almost happened in March I went all wierd, took a long road trip, thought about running away or commiting suicide and basically ended up spending the night at my pastor's house because noone trusted me to keep myself alive. I didn't end up losing my job it was all a misunderstanding. Anyway so I actually did lose my job and I didn't do any of that, I verbally beat myself up and I did have a little urge to cut but it wasn't too hard to avoid. Not once did I think of suicide though, that is pretty awesome! I didn't do anything to hurt myself, I drove fast but that was because I was pissed and I was only doing 90 mph, but in my head I was daring a police officer to pull me over because I was raging and he would have been on the receiving end of that and I would have ended up in jail, lucky that didn't happen. I really think that I have that part of my brain under control now :).