Okay - so today is turning out to be one of those days where anxiety is very high. Beyond it being an anniversary - I got an e-mail from the Registrar's Office and I have to have a meeting with them about my future studies at the university and about a course I have taken and requested special consideration for. In addition, I have to show the Associate Dean of the university my grades in the class, so that he can back me up and see that I did do well. This for me equals possibly not being able to continue my education. My funding gets cut off from being able to pay for university if they don't grant me a certain standing in that class so I wouldn't be able to go to university anymore. It's like being told you're on your last chance of leading the life that gives your life meaning.

The boyfriend is going through a depressive period, called me last night and pretty much downgraded all of what I'm feeling because how can I feel bad if he treats me well? He's not close to doing well in any part of his life and tends to make it my fault for not being the "normal" girlfriend. I know he's going through his own stuff and its not about me, but its really hard to be there for him right now because of my own emotional baggage.

I want to cry but no tears come, maybe I should go cut up some onions, lol. I think for the most part right now, its my anxiety levels which are getting the best of me. *sigh*

Thank you Marlene and veiled for the words of encouragement. I know this won't last forever and that I really need to take care of myself. The extra reminder is very helpful.

Sincerely,

A. Lauren