desert4now,

Apologies for the late reply, I still off work due to illness and spent the best part of the day travelling to, seeing and returning from the doctor. Nothing major, still getting over that nasty flu that we all had. In answer to your question most definately yes. PTSD in its various forms can be quite stressful to live with, I imagine, like Anthony said that you would have to live with it for a while but there's no doubt that secondary PTSD can result from that situation.

As for your first marriage, it is likely that you developed coping mechanisms that don't unfortunately disappear because the marriage has ended. Add them to a PTSD partnership and well you know the rest. Have you ever received counselling for the abuse in your first marriage? Perhaps this might be a good place to start. It certainly can only help in the situation that you are in.

I am speaking from some basis of experience here, my step-father was an alcoholic and growing up in that environment I developed mechanisms that do not sit well in adult relationships. When Anthony was at one of his lowest points he would drink alcohol to excess which used to frighten the hell out of me. I constantly lived with the anticipation of what I knew would happen and what I thought was going to happen. I already knew the patterns as I had seen them before, he was just so deep in denial that as far as he was concerned he had no drinking problem.

I really understand what you are saying with the nasty words, Anthony used to say some things that could cut you in half and not think twice about it. You wouldn't think that you could get physically sick from it but I used to as well. Plenty of times I would get that wound up that I would be almost vomiting and did on occasions. Thankfully, Anthony pretty much doesn't drink anymore. We rarely have alcohol in the house and he doesn't drink much on the rare occasions we go out.

Perhaps dealing with the trauma of your first marriage may be a good way to heal some of the wounds......making you stronger to deal with the 'now' stuff. Warm regards,