Thread: Husband with PTSD
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Old 11-08-2006, 10:20 PM
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Kerrie-Ann Kerrie-Ann is offline Gender Female
 
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Hi Jessica,

This is one of the hardest points with PTSD. They are very difficult people to motivate if they don't want to. Have you told him that you think he has PTSD? Perhaps obtaining some brief information (I say brief because his concentration will be low) to leave for him to read. I don't say that my tactic will work for everyone but I ended up tossing a Vietnam Veterans Counselling Service (VVCS) contact card on Anthony's computer desk, told him I thought he had PTSD and that he needed to get it sorted or I was on the way out. Never mind feeling sorry for him at that point, our lives were a living hell, he was in denial and I had, had enough!

Trying to talk reason to him at this stage will probably not work and appealing to his emotional side won't work either. He has probably shut down most of his emotions right now. The trouble with PTSD before it is diagnosed is that they don't know what is going on, they know they are different but don't really know why or what to do about it. To add insult to injury they will try and push you away because they won't want to burden you with either themselves (who are unwell) or the details of what caused his trauma. It is likely that he would never speak to you about the trauma anyway......thats just their nature and its worth respecting. Military training just reinforces their determination to be the same as they once were - the cold hard reality of that is if he has PTSD he will never be the same person again.

The best thing that you can probably do right now is take care of you and the kids and point him in the direction of some real help. A counsellor who knows about PTSD is what you want don't waste your time with anyone else. Don't make yourself ill by trying to to do for him what he won't for himself. He has seek treatment and he has want that treatment bad enough for it to help him. Please feel free to keep posting here, its one of the hardest parts of the journey with someone who has PTSD. Hopefully you can benefit from our experience and save yourself some grief along the way.
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