So, I seemed to have come out of my self loathing period. I was totally screwed up about losing my job and feeling worthless and people would judge me, I was wrong. I found myself getting dressed like I was going to work everyday and on Tues. I actually drove to work, parked in the lot, waited a few minutes then left. When I got home I cried alot then took off my work clothes and said " monica, you are avoiding all of this and it is not doing you any good so face to facts and move on". That is what i did, I called and told a few friends and I went and spent the afternoon with my friend Shelley and helped her recover some chairs. I have been doing things for people all week, helping them clean their houses or fix their yards. I signed up for some charity work and I am looking for a new job. Moving forward again feels good.