Monica, I deal with difficult issues now looking at the issues, not simply making a black or white decision, running with it and leaving no scope for change. I step back nowadays, I look around at things, I look at what such a major decision could impact, how it will affect me, others, etc. I look at what I will feel by making such a large decision, and I manage that decision simply through talking it out with people that I care about, family, etc, and bounce things off them. I talk about issues here also, some in private with close friends, some public. I have already made the decision to get divorced, and here in Australia it is simply waiting 12 months after seperation in which you can get divorced. I have already dealt with the emotions surrounding seperation and divorce, and now for me its merely about signing the paperwork. If I hadn't dealt with it all at once, and if I hadn't already made the decision of divorce, then I would have left reconciliation open. The problem with that is, I don't love Kerrie-Ann anymore, so reconciliation would be fruitless and for all the wrong reasons.

I have PTSD, and I still have down days, though I recognise what is wrong, look at why I feel that way, what could cause it, all of which may take a minute or two, then I take action, ie. get exercise, get out of the house, go do some activity to get my mind active, even as simple as having a sleep for a couple of hours then forcing myself up and go for a walk. I do these things and come good pretty much straight away.

I manage my stress intake, its as simple as that, and that is what enables me to be healthy within myself. If I had to work, if I was still in my old relationship where conflict seemed to rule, then I would still ill because the stress would be too much for me. I make decisions in my life based on what is best for myself, though also considering others around me. I would not be in a destructive relationship nowadays, I would not make a major decision without already knowing and working through any consequences so that I don't ambush myself with stress.

Stress management, that is my life really. Doing this allows me to live life, enjoy my days, without illness, depression, anxiety, etc. If I expose myself to stressful situations or people that I am not prepared for, then I would get ill if I didn't remove myself immediately. Simple as that. Management is the key. That sometimes includes avoidance, which is not an effective strategy for most things, though sometimes simply must be employed in management.

If you where at constant conflict with a family member for instance, then you would likely end up ill each time. You either continue to expose yourself to that conflict and get ill, or you discuss with them that you cannot see them with conflict. If they do not appreciate your feelings, then they obviously don't care enough about you, so then avoidance may be a more effective strategy. Maybe moving to phone calls, where if conflict is risen, you can hangup and turn your phone off until such time as the person calms themselves to discuss with you, not yell at you. This is management.