Yep, finances certainly do cause stress, whether with or without PTSD, finances are often a topic of issue, and generally concern within every relationship. I guess the reason that finances haven't been mentioned here, is because nobody really ever posted it or asked, and secondly, finances are more a specialised area, being from a financial advisor, the same as what PTSD is within the mental health scope. This doesn't mean that it shouldn't be discussed on personal levels here, because it is part of the problem to make one's PTSD worse... so... lets talk about it I guess, and thank you for posting the issue nafe, as it is a real issue within everyones life.

How often do you hear the coined phrase, "it doesn't matter how much money you have, you always need more?" What an absolutely correct phrase that is.

At age 23 & 24, this is part of the life learning curve, nothing more really. I know at that age I had done the same... basically had more debt than I could afford, and felt a degree of hurt for it, but we generally do get past these learning curves within our lives, and providing people learn from them, then they can only be seen as positive, even though they are very negative at the time. Our life journeys teach us from our mistakes, one of which you have both fallen into now unfortunately, with the added bonus of having PTSD within the equation... ouch!

I will give you the hard hitting reality of this situation from my perspective, which I think would be pretty close to a good financial advisors opinion, as I have spoken with them often enough, and we have our own anyway to manage our investments. You answered your question yourselves, by stating you are living beyond your means. You are living beyond your income, and this is nothing new within todays society. You took a $10,000 holiday when you couldn't actually afford it, because if you could, this problem wouldn't exist today. Yes, this is harsh, but the facts as I see it.

You are both young, and both learning, and if you learn from this, then you will never fall back within this situation again. Debt is not all bad. There is good debt, and bad debt. Good debt is a home loan, investment loans, etc etc, borrowed money that is making you more money than it is costing to borrow. Bad debt is credit card interest, personal loans, any loan or financing that is losing you money. A car loan is bad debt, because cars depreciated, not appreciate in value. People turn good debt into bad debt, by paying too much for an asset, beyond its current or realitic expected value, thus turning possible profit into liability.

Todays society and the impact of marketing is also creating this problem beyond reasonalbe proportions. Mobile phones on plans with nothing to pay upfront, free this, no down payment, 12 months interest free, etc etc... all bad purchases and debt.

I would say this to you both. If you are serious about getting yourself out of debt, then stop making silly decisions with liabilities, and get control now to earn yourselves wealth.

You need to itemise your bills, from my experience, and start really looking at what is essential vs. non-essential and can live without. You need to itemise your debt, and establish what is achievable to payoff within the immediate future, and what is not.

I will say this. Don't be scared of lending institutions, because they want their money back, and are prepared to make satisfactory arrangements to lower installments, just cover interest costs for a timed duration, etc etc, to help you get out of debt and continue paying them the money you owe. They are not bad people, as many perceive. You need to talk with them, and come to arrangements surrounding your situation. Don't bullshit them and give them big stories about your life history, because all they care about is getting their money back, and they would rather get it back than have you ruin your own life by declaring bankruptcy or something silly like that. Bankruptcy is not a light decision, because even though it has a time span till your clear it, and think you can start over financially, it doesn't just negate all your debt because you filed for it. Bankruptcy doesn't work that way. Bankruptcy remains with you for life, which means you will pretty much shoot yourself in the foot for buying a house, even in ten years time... it will put you within a lifestyle bracket and never let you out. Absolute last option.

1. itemise all your bills
2. total all your income
3. basic living expenses come first
4. remove all non-essential items within your life
5. develop a plan for repayment
6. phone all companies you owe money, and discuss your plan with them, and how can they accomodate you for a window period. They may play hardball at first, but if you tell them otherwise it is bandruptcy, they generally will fit your plans you made in step 5
7. money management and budgets is key
8. if you can't afford it, don't do it, find an alternative that costs less
9. entertainment doesn't need to cost money. Go for walks together, exercise, go kick a soccer ball, many alternatives exist that cost nothing, and you get exercise as a benefit, and you feel better, and you haven't spent one cent.
10. stick by everything you come up with.
11. now... really, piss non-essentials off. Mobile phones are not essential, regardless what you think, they are not essestial.
12. you should have minimal bills, ie. rent, electricity, home phone, gas... thats it. If you need a mobile phone, get prepaid, and only one per couple, not one each.
13. needs and wants are two very completely different things. Work out which one everything falls into before spending. Needs are essential, wants are not.

There is so much more I could put here, as this list just never ends really... as each situation can be so much different.

I would highly recomment, you go seek financial advice from an account or advisor, and follow it. They will help you with the debt management, they will help you with the creditors... they will help you regain your financial life back.