I know I haven't written in a day or two but we've been terribly busy clearing post and all. It is very frustrating. Here is a log from my personal journal yesterday.
July 25th 07 Today is not going good at all. We got the kids up this morning and they were cranky, but we had to get moving to go to a mandatory brief so we can leave here. So we get to the brief and sit there for 20min's while waiting on this guy to show. The kids were really cranky...and my nerves were already on end. So the civillian guy comes in and tells us (IN front of everyone!) that we can not attend the brief, because I am not in the "Duty Uniform". Hello!!! I have ****ing PTSD you asshole!! The Uniform is one of my triggers!!! That sent me off. I started shaking really bad...and just wanted to beat the piss out of this fat piece of shit civilian, with hippie hair... and him barking orders at me like I am some stupid ****! Regardless some words were exchanged as me and Kiesh and the kids were leaving.... The kids were really fussing... my head was splitting, and I was trying to think about the kids and Kiesh to prevent me from doing something stupid.
Everywhere I go to check-out, there are alot of ****ing people, large crowds, and it is driving me nuts- I feel like I am on the edge. Nobody wants to give us a straight answer about anything ie; housing, finance.. all they say is "You need to go see so-and-so", or "you need to go here, we don't do that here" ... and it's pissing me off beyone belief. I am a wreck, and feel like I am gonna snap. And then of course the kids, bless their hearts... I know they don't like it any more than I do... but that just adds to my cup when they don't listen, or crying.... I try and breathe but it don't work, I try and take a step back to try and get control... but my head is splitting.
We are in a time crunch as is, and need to get as much stuff done as possible...but all of this "shit" is driving me nuts.
** As you can see I was really frustrated yesterday.