I can relate in so many ways to the previous posts here. I struggle back and forth with how PTSD has changed me for the better and worse. Its a struggle unto itself. That said, I do miss my former self before the bad stuff. I miss being able to bounce back from a bad day or stress. I miss being able to trust or forgive others. I miss having energy even just the mental energy but I'd take back the pysical energy anyday. I miss being optimistic. People could count on me for it. I'm ashamed I'm not anymore. Being so, helped me and others such as at my job. I was the one people said, "Gee, I always feel better after talking to you", because I was a listener not a talker. I miss being confident enough to step in the middle of an argument and direct it in a more reassuring direction. They'd stop arguing even if they didn't come to an agreement. I was the sober driver home after a night out and always, always, the one to lean on. Not so now. Wish I could get that from someone. I need it.