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Originally Posted by American Mary This weekend, my bf was supposed to come and meet my son. |
Many things could have occured Mary, which only he can answer before presumptions are made. You need to ask him this, phone him.
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Originally Posted by American Mary Do PTSD sufferers become physically ill more easily and/or frequently than those who do not suffer from it? |
Yes we do. If PTSD is uncontrolled, most definately. The sheer stress and anxiety alone can cause numerous health problems, from increased flu symptoms, to organ failures, to cancer that isn't even within the family genetics.
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Originally Posted by American Mary Is it in the realm of possibility that PTSD would cause one to feel so overwhelmed by a "big deal", ie meeting the child of a loved one, that he'd shut down? |
Yes. The reason is because he is most likely over analyzing everything, instead of just focusing upon the issue that it is, meeting the child of the one you love. He would be telling himself everything from, how do I act with him to what if he doesn't like me, type scenarios.
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Originally Posted by American Mary I don't know whether to call him and yell at him for standing us up, or ask "WTF?", or just call the whole thing off. |
I would go with the call him, be calm, and ask him what happened, is he ok! Phone a person with PTSD and begin yelling at them... and well, let me just say that the events that proceed that yelling, generally aren't going to be in anybodies best interest within a relationship.
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Originally Posted by American Mary I am having a hard time drawing the line between making allowances for PTSD and being a doormat. |
That is an excellent point. You don't won't to allow him to use you as a doormat at any time, because firstly your better than that as a person, but also because once it happens, it will continue to happen.
I don't know the past within the relationship Mary, so it is hard to make accurate statements. (That is a two side affair also...) What I will say, is that if you both truly love one another, then regardless what occurs, they are minor events to your true inner feelings. If people are prepared to change, then they should be given the chance to change. Saying that, a line does need to be drawn. If a relationship is still having the same events going on two years after an agreement to change ways was made, then things aren't going to change, and a decision needs to be made on whether to accept it, or get out now.
Having a partner with PTSD is not easy, especially when it is uncontrolled, and you have your own issues also going on within the relationship. Again, I don't know the history, and am certainly not going to give advice to what a person should do with their relationships, but you know your relationship history, and you need to make an active decision based on those facts. Talking is the first option IMHO... as you will most likely find him curled up, sick to his bones, stressing about everything the world has to offer, because his anxiety has gone out of control over meeting your child for the first time.