Thank you, Anthony. Reading over yesterday's post, I can tell how angry I felt. I can see how reactionary I was and that I "knew" the answers to most of my questions in my gut (like his tendency towards being sick more often than most). I guess I just needed some reassurance from those who've been there. It wasn't fair of me to ask a bunch of relationship questions when no one knows the whole context of our bond. Pretty ridiculous of me. My apologies.

I talked to him last night and it seems that he has had a particularly bad recurrence of his kidney stones and in no way is trying to avoid meeting my son. We spoke again about him getting some help - he says he's called around to find a therapist. I'm seeing that as improvement.

I think a large part of making this work will be to define (and redefine!) boundaries and try to live within them. I see a long trial-and-error process in my future, but a day-by-day approach seems to be the only doable option for us right now.

Again, I can't thank you enough for your calm and sensible response to my irate ramblings. I feel a little embarassed and selfish about getting so worked up. Thanks again.