That constant realization, grounding and realistic things are very important, I get that. The paranoia is definately hard for me to get over, usually people can see it in me though, I assume they can't see it in you any longer. This is really going to be a battle of the mind i suppose. I do know that I have to stay in control although I do have times when I feel out of control or I want to be out of control and I have to remember that and either work at being in control or removing myself from the situation. Thanks for that it is good to call them "unrealistic thoughts".