BTW Anthony, this thread has been great for me. I am figuring out the whole "control" thing. To be out of control for so long and finally I am feeling in control and I wonder " why the hell didn't I do this before"! Talk more about that control, is it all about retraining my brain? Is being impulsive part of PTSD, I am pretty impulsive. Here is something wierd but funny. For the first time ever in my life I went the the salon to get my hair cut and just asked her to trim it. First time, what I have always done is get a new style everytime, constantly changing my hair. I think about that differently now, I didn't know why or even acknowledge it before. I was running away without really doing it, trying to change my appearance, hide and not let people get to know me, that is all just part of this. amazing.