I put yes for both because I have been in the past. Some of the best conversations and silliness can take place in the car.

In past relationships when things were "bad" there was a time when there was a lot of heated discussions in the car, and for some reason when I really lashed out. I think it was because I had been going somewhere (moving forward) with that person when we (as a couple) were stuck. I found it triggering and got angry and well, "had a go at him." - almost anytime we were in the car.

I never really considered using the car as a place to talk about my PTSD with my husband. I don't know if I would now because it would in fact help to get some things out but I wouldn't be getting it all out because I am not sharing a connection - its avoidance. If he doesn't see my face or look into my eyes when I say whatever it is I feel I need to share - then I am not really sharing. It might be a trust issue because by being in the car I'm giving him an excuse to avoid my eyes or be distracted - so he doesn't have to be fully there. If I am driving and talking then I don't have to give him the chance and risk the disappointment and hurt it will bring to see that he isn't fully present to what I am saying.

There have been other topics we've discussed in the car and this tactic didn't work, I got terrified with the driving because he kept looking at me when he was talking because it was serious and he wanted me to know exactly what he was saying. Eventually I just screamed, "Look at the roooooad."


So I guess I use my car time now with him as means to relax and just have a positive conversation, play games (like the ABC game), or dance funny at stoplights to see who will look over at us.