I voted for sabatoge, unfortunately. I have always been a disappointment to my family - or at least felt like one. From their point of view I was asking for the PTSD - females are not supposed to be in the military - and certainly not doing the job I was doing. For the few 20 percent or so of people who had good support - you are darn lucky and I am jealous. For the rest of us - I'm sure we'll muddle through it somehow... but today it just seems a little hard.