Hope everything is going well for you. I am uncertain how your wife sadly came into PTSD but loss of control or abuse normally are part of it if not all of it. So when terms are placed (even if for your/her own good) it will not come across that way. And terms are pretty pointless. I mean even you said it has to be her choice to do these things, but when does it become her choice no longer? If she thinks she can't have kids or may lose you? I don't see many chances for her to actually make choices right now. She is being told what she has to do.

I know what you want may be best for her, but she has to get there in her own way and time for any of it to do any good.

I saw in another post asking "whether you should have kids or not" Pretty simple answer, no. You don't feel secure, she doubtfuly does either. And you are having to ask for outside opinons. That one you pretty much know right out of the gate and from your heart and no one's opinon counts then. I was pointing out where I thought she was getting unneeded additional stress, not so much defending her having kids.

Y'all need some time to really explore your relationship with someone with PTSD as a factor first before even thinking about kids.

I cannot say 100% one way or another about parenting with it. All I can give you is my personal experience having 4 kids. I would have been dead without mine, they gave me strength to heal. I have a wonderful husband but it was our kids that kept us alive through the worst of it and we are reaping the rewards now. BTW we did not have the advantage of knowing I had PTSD before them. Would I do it now? Not likely. But I am more in gear of looking forward to grandkids one day soon as I know how time flies instead of adding to my brood!