Hodge,

I don't know if we ever can get that person back. We have been changed to our core. Altered, different, skewed... Everything about us has changed....The way we think, react, our outlook on life in general, our fears, our interactions with others and how they now respond to us.... Everything about us and our world has changed.

Personally....Like I said, I am just happy to be alive, and grateful for what I have now.

I do feel for you with the job thing. I understand your limits living in a small area......My only advice to you.....I know that books was your passion in life...Find a new one...No small feat I know....

Mine is so well weird. I could have done anything I wanted in life. I chose to do what makes me happy, regardless of what others feel. I clean houses for other people and I get enjoyment and a sense of accomplishment when I look the place over after I am done. It pays the bills, keeps me fed, and I have some extra left over. Simply put...I enjoy my job!!! There are no hassles, I work for me, and I pick and chose my customers.

Sorry that i can't offer more help. You will figure this out, we all do, it just takes some time.....

Wen