My wife and I do talk but we don't talk about what the underlying cause of the ptsd is. I know a lot of it is in response to how I treated her over the past 4 years of our marriage. I shut her out emotionally and I was not sure why I did. When she cheated on me it allowed me to open myself up to her and to express things to her that I was to afraid of before, I just wish it took something less then my wife cheating. I have fixed that now and I am more emotional now then I have ever been in my life. I am not afraid to open myself up to her. I can sense that she is having a hard time talking to me about certain subjects. The support I give to her is unconditional love. I treat my wife with the utmost respect despite what is happening to our family and the things she does to hurt me. I know that It's been a night and day experience. She went from wanting a divorce(that was in june) to wanting to be with me and the kids. She assures me that her heart is with her family. I really want to believe her, but I find it hard to do when she tells me that she has cheated on me again. She told me she is pushing me away because she doesn't want to hurt me and the kids, but that is exactly what hurts me(her pushing me away). She made the desicion on monday that she needs to move out for awhile so she can heal herself without hurting the family anymore. Does that sound like a good idea?? To me, even though it might seem the worst thing to do, if it allows her to heal herself and have the desire to change and get help, then in reality it is the best thing, right? She has recognized what she is doing to me and our kids, and allows me to do what I need to do to heal myself. She is very understanding with me, and I of her. But, I still can not grasp what she is truly going through, and I probably never will.

She does have a job and she really enjoys it. She does not go to any kind of therapy because she doesn't want to do it right now. She is on some medication, but has had a tough time taking it. So took over and make sure she remembers to take it, which she really likes. It has not been long enough to show any signs of improvement.

Her typical day consists of sleeping in the morning until work, she gets home at 7 and sits on the computer until I get the kids ready for bed, sometimes she is sleeping in bed after work. Once the kids are in bed she usually leaves for the night. A few nights she has told me she was coming home, and never called and never came home until morning. Those nights are horrible for me. I try to sleep but it is impossible. A day off will usually consist of more sleeping and maybe she might do some of her laundry. She has not done any kind of house work for about 4 months or so. So her day consists of her dealing with herself. She has checked out emotionally from the kids and myself. I can deal with myself but I am worried about the kids. They are six, four, and two. The six yr old has started taking her mom's place. She has become very bossy and disrespectful with me and my wife. I am trying to give her some responsibility so that she can still be a kid, and still fulfill her desire for control. I am trying to be very optimistic despite the horrible reality that my life has become. I can see what lessons can be learned and what I can do to change myself so that when my wife is well enough, she will still have a loving husband to care for her and love her.
I appreciate every response to me post. I will take all of the advise I can get.

I know there is sunshine behind the storm, but the storm still reaches the horizon.