Oh my yes Andrea, we all nag, that is a given. However, when you are dealing with a PTSD sufferer, it is best to keep nagging to a bare minimum. Their stress levels overflow much more quickly than do a "normal" person's. If you've read Understanding PTSD, you will have a sense of this already. We simply cannot expect them to behave the same as someone who does not have PTSD, as far as stress goes. This is why I often say, choose your battles. The name calling - that is something I definitely would not tolerate. I would concentrate on that at the moment, rather than household duties, which can always be left for later on. In the grand scheme of things, a few dirty dishes is far preferable to verbal abuse and the stress and low self-esteem you will suffer as a result.

Regarding the XBox, this is likely your husband's way of dealing with his stress. I know my Evie is an avid video game player as well. She does it to relax, and it does help her. Is it healthy if he's playing all night long? Absolutely not. However, do consider the reason he is doing it. Playing Xbox is not at all stressful; it fact it is a calming activity, and likely a means of escaping bad feelings and memories for a time.

If he has never been in therapy and is only just beginning a group, he is at the very beginning of his healing process. Things will improve if he is willing to work upon himself, however you must also support him and learn as much as you can. PTSD sufferers can learn to manage their PTSD very well, but yes, it is a permanent condition, there is no cure at present. If you stay with him, you must accept that you are in it for the long haul, as my husband would say.

I find it interesting that you call yourself a "superwoman". Do you see yourself as the saviour in your husband's life, the one who takes care of him and solves his problems? If so, you must accept that you cannot solve his problems. That is something he must do for himself. And truthfully, you should not be married to him for any other reason than you love him dearly and want to spend the rest of your life with him. You cannot save or change any person. You can only change yourself, your behaviour and your thinking styles.

In any event Andrea, there is some food for thought. My opinions only, and what has worked for me in my life. I am certain others will give you their take as well, just give it time, as I mentioned, we all are rather busy. Do take good care. Do something nice for yourself today, you deserve it.

Oh and by the by... I am also a military wife, my husband is a lifer who recently retired after 40 years in the armed forces! There are a few military wives here, or wives whose husbands have been in the military at some point. You are in good company in that respect.