I pretty much agree with what you have said about my wife. Except I am not sure how I am enabling her. Yes, I don't physically stop her from leaving at night to go party. I have told her what I feel when she does go out. Her attitude towards her whole experience has I hope hit rock bottom this week. She told me this morning that her and her freind met some guy that just lost his friend in a car wreck, they thought the were doing the right thing by befriending the guy because they felt horrible for him. Well the guy wanted to drive after a night of heavy drinking, they told him that he could sleep on there floor.(he lives out of town) Well, the guy insisted that they have sex. My wife told him no many times. He finally gave up and they both passed out. The next thing my wife remembers was being raped by the guy. She of course put herself in a bad situation but that doesn't matter. She told me this morning that she is done going to the bars. She told me when she moves out she is taking all of her painting supplies and cross-stitch stuff and having alone time. The reason she does not stay home is because being with me can bring up some issue's for her. I was emotionally cold to her for 3 years. I understand she needs time away from me for awhile. The environment that she will be moving into will be less stressful for her. I hope that she can do a lot of personal reflection when she is gone.

As for me I probably do need something to manage my feelings. I have taken anger management classes in the past and I still use the techniques I learned then. I have a lot of anxiety during the day that sometimes it is hard to even brush my teeth. I also have a lot of depression, and feeling of wanting things the way they were. They probably never will be the same. I do have a very optimistic perspective about my whole experience. The lessons that I have learned so far have dramatically changed who I am for the better. I am more open to my wife more then I have ever been. It has forced me to talk about what is going on in my head. Something that I never really knew how to do. My father was the same way to my mom. Anyways, I appreciate the time it takes for your response. I have told my wife I have been discussing our problems on this forum, and that it has really helped me. I told her that if she ever wanted to talk to other people that have gone through what she is going through that this forum is the perfect place for that. She took my suggestion very well. I hope that she can find the courage to talk about herself in this forum. I have posted but 3 times and read only a few responses and I feel a lot better. I feel I am in a community. I don't feel as alone with what we are going through. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

Dan