Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it. Responses are making me feel less alone.

I'm not in the best head space right now, so I can't absorb everything in the posts, but I will come back to this. I tend to go over & over different posts, and get something different each time.

Since this post I have been crying. What set me off was ridiculously mild - someone was very short with me - and this has caused a mass of tears that I've been struggling to control. I keep having to go to the toilet to cry.

I worry that my energy reserves are so depleted, that I don't have the strength to keep fighting this thing. I've been in therapy for 15 months, I try so hard, and the more I progress the more I hurt. I will keep fighting, but I wonder how much more, how much longer, when will it get better, when will the pain end?