My mind does a good job hiding my dreams from me. I wake in panic but cannot remember why. One thing is that I had come upon was an accident that had just happened after a hell of a panic attack, my first one that went for hours cycling. I was on my way back from the hospital trying to figure out what was happening to me still. There were dead babies out of the car. I think in my state of mind at the time is why it hit me so hard and jacked me up worse.

I can remember them when something jogs it. A week or so ago I was taking a nap and woke in panic. Could not recall what I was dreaming as usual, but knew I had to be to wake that way. I walked in to see my children watching a movie with a baby shown, then it hit me. I had been dreaming of a dead baby I was digging out of the sand on some beach. How it went from the side of the road to a beach is beyond me... The baby was in a blue blanket and so lifeless.