Well this is my first time in any kind of forum online. I have been looking for a support group to join in my area but haven't been able to find one. In some ways, this seems easier. I have had complex ptsd for 15 years. I'm 34, and it started after I was abused in a wilderness camp where I went to work for 3 months when I was 19. Until that abuse, I had been a very successful and high-functioning person with a very bright future, although I also came from a background of family alcoholism and dysfunction. In some ways, I still feel 19 years old or younger.

Although I have tried for years and years and developed better ways to cope, I still feel I am very very far from living the life that I deserve, one that is filled with light and love. Right now I am struggling with the issue of co-dependency in my relationships and a feeling of being isolated and not understood by my family, and also being seen as a colossal disappointment to them.

Because of my health, my ability to earn a living is limited, and have lived many years as the (barely) "working poor" while others in my peer group are successful professionals. I guess what I hope to gain here, is a place where I can really talk to people who understand the illness, and start to unravel some of the mysteries it entails. One thing that I really wonder about is I experience an enhanced sense of perception, which is both a blessing and a curse. Does anyone else have this, and does anyone know where I can get more info about how complex ptsd affects perception? I have been doing some reading on autism spectrum disorder sites, and i feel intuitively that there is something in common there--"sensory overload" I would like to find out much more about this. Thanks.