I do get acid reflux & I do have tablets so I can take those.

I also find that over the counter painkillers with codeine in them help my jumpy feelings.

I think Veiled asked about 'someone hurting me' feeling - this I now think is some sort of flashback. It's a violated, helpless feeling.

I'm doing shithouse. Not at work. Ringing & seeing my psychologist frequently. Twice a week appointments. My psychologist seems to think this is all good progress and exactly what trauma work should be. I know from reading on here there's a similiar philosophy. But seriously to be completely honest I"m starting to think everyone else is the crazy one. I feel way worse then I've ever felt. YES, says my shrink, you WILL, for the first time you are not repressing, you are not self medicating (well actually did once this week) and you are exploring your feelings around the trauma. THIS IS how it should be.

Stay with it, and don't give up now, that's what she says. I'm just hoping & praying that this is correct, because it feels like I'm dying. Dramatic, yes, but then so is the f'ing feeling.

Physically I'm actually sick & in pain, as well as the mental. This is astounding to me. I feel like a freak or a BIG DQ (Drama Queen). But seriously as mental f'cked up as I am it's actually affecting my body. It's bullshit it really is. It still baffles me that something in the PAST (are you listening body) can make me feel physically like it's happening right now. As unreasonbable & irrational as that is.

I"m so pissed off. I feel like no-one believes me just how much it hurts. That everyone thinks I'm a whinger. All I need to do is ground myself, think of a waterfall in a pretty forest, kiss a bunny rabbit & soak in 'healing lavender' bath salts. I want to punch & kick & fight and get this person off me, out of my head.

To think all you lot are going through this or have gone through this. God, no one should have to go through this. IT SUCKS.