Hey girlinthemirror,I'm in a similar situation in my mid thirties and been going through this for 16 years.I was what I thought at at the time successful making good money etc.What I was actually doing was what a lot of the population do which is just keep moving working going out or what-ever so I didn't have to stop and think.But when I did it's been as I'm sure you know so incredibly difficult,but out of it I'm thankful that I've had a chance to understand what is actually important and gained some depth and perspection beyond what I may have had.I'm in the same boat with work I'll be feeling really good get back to work then be frazzled after a couple months,quit recover and get back to it.You were talking about enhanced perception,for me the thing that I could correlate with that is whether just innately or from being hurt i"m a very sensitive person.Being sensitive I think your more aware and open to everyone and everything around you that others might not be who have a thicker skin.Also there is such a thing as containing where if you are in a room with some-one with-out saying or doing anything we contain their feelings and emotions and this gives more sensitive types a clearer perception of what others might be going through.Just a thought.I've found that meditation,spiritual persuits and a good therapist in the past have made the difference between night and day.Try to stay optimistic and don't give up hope, I'm sure that you'll get all of those good thing s in life that you talked about.Good luck.Socrates.70