Pand, I'd like to point out to you that you should never feel like you aren't deserving of love, affection, understanding, and happiness.

We are all broken, we are all in need of these very base things. You deserve it, you can have it, the decision is yours.

I'm speaking from the other side of the coin. I was recently put on hold by a wonderful person living with PTSD. She has experienced nothing but bad relationships with bad men. I like to think of myself as a "good guy". I treat her with respect. I make myself available to her when she needs it. I pamper her and give her lots of self-esteem boosts.

She doesn't think she deserves me. She doesn't think it is fair for me to have to deal with the problems she is facing and has since retreated completely.

From the other side I tell you not to push him away if he is truly as supportive as you say. He can decide for himself whether he wants to stick around, and whether it is fair to him. Let him make that choice and realize how much you deserve happiness as much as anyone else does.

I'm glad that you are finding an island of happiness...I hope it can grow into a continent that you can walk forever upon.