Lisa, you did not ramble. I think your post made a wonderful amount of sense! I never thought of the isolation you feel when in so much pain as feeling that way because no one is feeling your specific pain.

Awakening. It is very easy to think everyone else is flat nuts because we do get so much worse healing. You think how can this be good for me? This is where a hard lesson for us to learn comes in. We have to trust others. The bright side once you do get to a better place you see that you did trust and you are better for it this time. But I will admit, I sure as hell was looking for a rewind button to just suck it all up again for a while. I think that is normal. But we learn once the ball is rolling in trauma therapy there is no stopping it or we just continue to get sicker without improvement.

I did catch a positive note in your last post. You said it was near impossible at the end. You did not make it an absolute impossible. It is a step!