Thank you Kathy and Jim both. I'l lanswer your questions and counter with some of my own. :)

She told me last week that about the PTSD. I'm not sure she was ever officially diagnosed, but as a social worker she is familiar with these sorts of illnesses. I know she is not seeing any professional right now.

I respect her boundary which is why I have sort of come here for a little information and guidance on how best to approach this. If I had known about the PTSD before we decided on the break then I would have been able to address it better.

The thing is that I'm not sure she realizes how much this is still affecting her. My concern is that going through her trauma(s) and now having the physically abusive ex-husband has brought a lot of the symptoms back. Again, I'm not sure she realizes it though.

I don't want to offend her by bringing it up and not only breaking the space issue but accusing her of having an illness she may think she is over with. Then also we have discussed the need for fixing things (from both of us) and my need for concrete answers. She can view this as not a reaching out for support, but as me on a search for answers and fabricating something that may not be.

I don't think she is worried about more abuse from me, I think she has withdrawn because I have been so kind, understanding and available to her. She doesn't trust it and thinks she doesn't deserve it. I don't think she knows how to be in a relationship that isn't abusive and dramatic. So she is scared to love again, to give her heart over fully, and so she has withdrawn.

I really feel like nearly all the symptoms I have read about PTSD are exibited in her and that if the PTSD is a strongly contributing factor for her backing off then should I pursue in the vein of helping her and being supportive? or is that more pushing her away because I'm not respecting her boundaries?

How do tell someone you think they are ill and they are looking through the wrong end of the telescope if you aren't supposed to be telling them anything?

I want to tell her that these are the things she is doing, and that I recognize them and want to help her through them so she can be happy. She could see that as me trying to fix her and help when she clearly said she doesn't want help and feels she has to do this alone.