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Originally Posted by Arashi The thing is that I'm not sure she realizes how much this is still affecting her. |
It's difficult to say what she realizes and doesn't realize as I am not acquainted with her. However, from what you say, she sounds high functioning and self-aware enough, as she told you about her PTSD and was clear about needing a break. She is also a social worker, so would know something about these issues. Though being a professional does not always help matters. I am a social worker myself and it can sometimes be a hindrance!
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Originally Posted by Arashi I don't want to offend her by bringing it up and not only breaking the space issue but accusing her of having an illness she may think she is over with. |
No one ever "gets over" PTSD. There is no cure as of yet. She may have it well managed, but it is a life long illness which will wax and wane somewhat. Even whilst managed, she will always have to do some maintenance to keep herself functioning. If you were not already aware of this, it is good for you to know, as having a long term relationship with her will mean having deal with her PTSD in the long term as well. At the moment, she is likely having a relapse of sorts, but she will never completely heal from PTSD.
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Originally Posted by Arashi I really feel like nearly all the symptoms I have read about PTSD are exibited in her and that if the PTSD is a strongly contributing factor for her backing off then should I pursue in the vein of helping her and being supportive? or is that more pushing her away because I'm not respecting her boundaries? |
In my opinion, you should not pursue helping her if she has clearly stated to you she does not want help. Firstly she must want to help herself, and secondly yes, if she has clearly said she wants a break, you are crossing a boundary by pushing things. You may very well push her away even more. Personally, the only time I would push myself on my PTSD sufferer against her will would be if I felt she were in jeopardy - suicidal, homicidal, heavy drug use, very physically ill, etc. However your girlfriend sounds like she is managing well, so a forced intervention is not needed at this time.
You stated that she told you just last week about her PTSD. When did she ask you for the break? A week or two is a very short period of time for someone with PTSD. She may require at least that long of a break to sort things out for herself. I would suggest you go along with the break for a couple of weeks, do some reading during that time and do some nice things for yourself as well. Give her a bit time and see how things are after a couple of weeks. That is just my opinion however; hopefully others will offer theirs as well.
And, to sound like a broken record, I cannot stress enough to take care of yourself through this as well, be kind to yourself and so on. You are correct in that you cannot fix her. You can be supportive, but sometimes being supportive is letting go and giving the person the space they require to grow.