It’s been almost six months since I wrote my original post. I’m feeling like I’m a lot farther down the road to being a success than I have been in a long time. For me, one of the best benefits of this is that things that used to tie me into knots and absolutely tear me up are now, for the most part, just passed by without a second thought. Who would have thought that I don’t need perfection in my life, my house, my family, my job, myself. I know that this realization has made my life much more enjoyable and has home life for my family easier. I still have my moments (don’t we all!), but they’re a lot fewer and farther between. Being able to laugh at yourself, not taking everything so seriously is a gift. I’m still a work in progress, but that’s what makes the journey exciting.

I sat down and thought about what I have accomplished in my life in the last six month and I was really surprised at where I am compared to where I was.

*I’ve dealt with A LOT of issues in my life. In looking back through my life, it’s amazing how negative thought processes and negative habits become so engrained in our lives. Recognizing and changing them is tough, but so worth it.

*I’ve gotten off of the meds. This has given me such a sense of control back in my life. I know now that the progress I’ve made is because of me and my hard work and not because the pills are suppressing things for me. Having this knowledge has made a world of difference for me in my recovery and my sense of empowerment.

*I’ve learned to take care of myself better and to cut myself some slack. Taking a short nap after work is part of that taking care and doesn’t mean that I’m a slacker. Taking a hot bath after a tough day and asking someone else to cook dinner doesn’t mean I’m not pulling my weight. Saying that I deserve down time/me time doesn’t I’m not taking care of my family. These and many other things all add up to one point for me…I’ve discovered that I’m as valuable as everyone else.

*I’ve stopped measuring my success by other people’s standards and have started using my own. Talk about taking some pressure off!

*One of the biggest issues I’ve dealt with has been my relationship with my father. Dealing with all of the anger and hurt has helped me to put a lot of this aside and remember the good stuff that was there and actually miss him without having all of the qualifiers attached.

*Something that my husband and I learned in the Army and have never forgotten is the phrase ‘If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, adapt and overcome.’ Since I can’t change my PTSD and how it affects me and my family, I’ve (actually we’ve) had to learn to adapt and overcome. One of the best ways I know that I’m adapting and my family is adapting is that we laugh about a lot of it now. Not in a way that lessens it. We’ve always been ones that laugh at our troubles to help deal with them. For example: The other day my youngest daughter came in out of the sun and heat and said something along the lines of ‘Whoa…I’m seeing things.’ I looked at her and said, ‘Hey…if there’s any hallucinating to be done in this family, I’ll be doing it.’ We all had a good laugh out of that. This is now part of the fabric of our lives. There’s no getting around it, so we’ve adjusted ourselves to make room for it. It’s not perfect by a long shot, but it’s a lot better than it was before. And as to the laughing…I’ve always figured in dealing with the things life throws at you that you can laugh or you can cry. I’ve had enough of the crying and I’m enjoying being able to laugh again.

Lisa