Signs that you may need to exorcise your PC
1. Sign of the Beast: That creepy Damian guy in the IT department just
upgraded you to a Pentium-666.

2. Stand Back: When you eject your CD, green pea soup comes flying out
the drive door.

3. Dangerous Game: Names of your MS Hearts opponents mysteriously
change
from Pauline, Michele, and Ben to Beelzebub, Lucifer, and Old Scratch.

4. Here's Johnny: You try to print out a spreadsheet, but all you get
is
ten pages of "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

5. X-Rays Don't Lie: When your laptop goes through airport security,
the
machine picks up an outline of a cloven hoof.

6. New Screensaver: Flying pentacles.

7. Possession Is Nine-Tenths of the Law: Your computer monitor
swivels a
full 360 degrees every time you walk into the room.

8. Freedom of Speech: Your voice recognition software starts speaking
in
tongues.

9. Blair Witch Redux: You find a fresh stack of crossed sticks by your
CPU.

10. Gates of Hell: Your PC runs Windows without an error. A sure sign
of
possession.