Oh, Anthony, I wish I trusted someone enough to let them help me develop different ways of thinking. I am so paranoid!!! I assume people are thinking negative things about me. Its a cycle that is so hard to break. I hear words in my ears. My mothers voice, my father's voice, my grandmother's voice, all seem to ring in my ears like they are my voice. My X was intermittently ( inbetween being sadistic and abusive both physically and verbally) very ego building to me when he would tell me I am smart and talented and a good mother. I guess Pieget would say I am a concrete operational thinker but I don't think I'd be capable of writing the poetry I write if I was intellectually retarded at the stage of concrete operational. But perhas there are different areas of my brain that might, because of the trauma be retarded to the concrete. You are correct about my thinking. OMG, I just wish I felt the strength to fight it. The words in my heart come with such automatic emotions and usually result in me shutting down, zoning off, or going into outer space in my head. But Veiled told me about something I am going to try for the automatic negative self talk. She suggested I use post its of two different colors then put the bad thought on one and a counter thought on the other. I'm going to try this. It sounds simple enough.