Hey, I'm back again... fortunately, I heard the phone ringing as I was trying to break out of my sleep (dream I was having). I have nightmares all the time when I sleep, so I try to be so tired before I finally fall asleep so that I am too tired to recollect or experience dreams. After I wrote my intro, I was pretty tired (I had been up since 07:30 that morning, and this week had only been getting roughly three to four hours sleep). The dream I just woke up from was causing me to have MAJOR panic attacks. It was such a simple dream too, unlike the complicated and detailed one's where I'm either back in Iraq, or the really weird ones where I'm trying to survive being killed by people/aliens/natural disasters. Tonights dream consisted of me finding a wooden arts and crafts valentine heart at some place as it lay on the floor. Everything was black and red. The wooden valentine heart belonged to a soldier. I knew this because I made a similar one myself when I was in a psychiatric hospital (that's true life). I tried to find the owner of this wooden heart and somehow I felt my life slipping away (maybe because I felt that all his pain was also my pain, I don't know, but I could see his pain and feel his pain), hence, I guess this was the reason why I was having the extreme panic attack in my sleep. The person I was looking to return their wooden heart to was also on your forum.
I guess my wife and I just might be soul mates because she called home just in time, and I think it saved me. I think writing my intro caused me to get so worked up like this. If I could just sleep dream-free. I noticed you replied to my intro. Thank you for sharing your understanding with me. Let me tell you, stigma and maltreatment for having PTSD in the military are still alive and well. I found this out (that my situation was not unique)when I started going to 'group' sessions for Iraq War Veterans. Also, when I was over there, there was a large presence of Australian soldiers... and you guys seemed to be quite nice. One guy allowed me to take a look through the fixed scope on his Steyer AUG. Cool bunch of troops. Thank you for your acceptance. Of all the forums I have checked out, this one by far is the premiere one. Thanks.