Once again with Evie's permission, I am quoting some words from her diary. Evie honestly deserves much credit for the amount of work she did in her diary surrounding Brian's death. She has done far more to help herself than Jim and I have even begun to do. The following quote was made to Evie by another member, after she had questioned Brian being dead and she being alive, and the unfairness of it all:

People are people, they show some things and then there are things that are there but never shown. I am sorry if this seems mean but Brian really was the only one who could have done anything for Brian in that. You have made a better choice and are able to live because of it. This is not something to be sorry you did, this is what you had to do to live.

I must say, I cried when I read this. It was the one time on the forum where I felt truly angry at the words of another, and had to restrain myself from lashing out. Whether there is truth in the statement or not, it was extremely difficult to read, especially given it was said barely 5 weeks after Brian's death. Totally inappropriate timing in my opinion. One issue which is very difficult to deal with in any death, are the insensitive though likely well-meaning comments made by others following a tragedy.

I am not certain what else to say regarding this, only that the whole family was devastated by the comment. Yes Brian made bad choices, however so did Evie, and Evie is still with us. Brian is not. There is no justice in that. Had Brian been spared, I like to believe he would have sought help eventually. It took Evie 5 years to seek help, perhaps it would take Brian as long or longer, however he would still be alive. The suggestion that Evie deserves to live more than Brian offends me so much that I shake with anger just thinking about it.