Thank you to everyone who responded to my posts. It has been a few weeks since I first posted but I really appreciate all of the kind words, advice and frank talk that you each took your time to share with me.

First off, I put my foot down about the name calling. I just laid it out and told him that if he started with any of the name calling, I was going to go stay in a hotel. And I told him that I would take $$ out of our Christams savings to do it. We look forward to Christmas every year because I save a nice chuck of change all year long and the last thing he wants is to see me spend cash on a hotel stay with it. Anyway, we've only had two incidents where he was getting to the name calling stage and I just shut it down.

Secondly, through the group therapy he started, he was introduced to and has become involved with a non-profit volunteer organization that supports the VA golf course at the VA where he gets his medical treatment. It's the biggest step forward I've seen him take. He says he feels so much better making a contribution in an organization that helps other Vets and it helps him being around other Vets that can relate to is experiences.

I've noticed a significant change in him since he became involved, all for the better. In fact, we've been getting along better also and I know that I've been happier lately because of it.

Creepy:

I would love to chat sometime to try and understand more of what's going on in a veteran's head. I can relate to your entire post. Not only does my husband suffer from PTSD, he has developed several serious physical medical conditions related to his service. Since we've been together he has had surgery at least twice a year and one of his conditions will more than likely significantly shorten his life.

However, if you knew me you would know that kind of tough girl I am. I am a completely 'no-nonsense' 'buck-up-or-shut-up' kind of person. And even though Dave is a tough guy (he was an accomplished Ranger and accepted into Special Forces) sometimes he seems like he's being a big baby to me. If anyone can help me out understanding this I would appreciate it. I mean I don't think I'm tougher than he is, but sometimes I feel like he's a big cry-baby.

2quilt:

I am very interested in any advise you can give me concerning your experience receiving SSD. Dave has been turned down twice and we are now waiting for a hearing date on his second appeal. He originally filed for SSD in Oct 2003. When I met him in Feb 2004 he was living on $800 a month. He had sold off almost everything of value he owned and was living in a dumpy apartment, basically waiting to die.

We've come so far since then- we just bought our first house, and in the Seattle market that's a major accomplishment. Any advice you could give me concerning SSD would be so greatly appreciated! Help! I'm a tough woman, but I'm starting to really feel the financial strain.