Kathy,
In regards to the comment made to Evie,Tonka would often say this kind of thing. It hid the fact he was struggling to deal with the fact he was alive, and often wished it was him. He was almost jealous of the fact the deceased person now had peace, when he did not. He talked himself up to be so much stronger, to hide the fact he felt so much weaker.
Just a different slant on why he/she may have said this.....
Ryair xxxxxxxx
P.S You guys are doing great!!! As a family you are TOTALLY AWESOME!!!