This is where I need some help I think. I've been on meds for little over a year now. I was shocked at the number of side effects that my first prescription (low dosage of Lexapro) caused me; my doc told me this was the choice for lowest side effects. By the time the stuff was supposed to kick in, I just didn't want to deal with the nausia and other sh*t that got added to my problem list. I was eventually put on Effexor XR at a 35mg dose and knew to expect and accept side-effects. Then it went to 75mg, then to 150mg, then had Welbutrin added in at 100mg (because of my total impotence now), then bumped it up to 150mg, then both meds maxed out to 300mg for a total of 600mg/day (Welbutrin never helped my impotence, I guess because I lost interest in sex not long after coming back). I stopped taking the stuff once for 3 days straight and went out-of-my-mind crazy. I was looking to attack and kill people who seemed to me to be undesireable, I became extremely paranoid of everyone, I had severe headaches, and everytime I turned my head in one direction or another I heard this 'swooosh' noise in my head (as if something was shooting past me). That's when I found out I have to take this sh*t or else. I can tell you that I believe the only 'good' this stuff did was give me somewhat of a positive outlook and keep me from getting so angry at just any little thing... it mellowed me out a lot. It helped my mind accept religion. It mellowed me out so much though, that I eventually stopped caring for myself (hygiene). After I came back from Iraq I had a problem with hygiene, maybe because of the primitiveness at the time... I don't know. It was just normal to me to go without a shower for several days at a time after I came home... I also think that this may be linked to the depression I was dealing with then as well. (My family ought to be happy that I didn't find it normal to be piss'n or sh*t'n wherever outside as well.) On the full dosage of this medicine, I would go several weeks to a month without a shower. I had developed skin sores, originating from the 'athlete's foot' I brought back from Iraq, that spread all over my feet, arms and legs. My mother (she is a nurse), at some point later, stayed with us a while, and she told me that my meds are making me extremely apathetic and that I should keep seeing a psychiatrist until I get the right meds. I'm sick of psychiatrists and their trial-and-error ways with me. I told her this and she cried because she said I won't be around long deteriorating like this. The meds helped with my depression a little and disabled me from being so aggressive, but it probably worsened or heightened damn near every other symptom of my PTSD and depression. Basically, this medication kept me from doing things that might get me thrown in jail. It kept me feeling very vulnerable to other humans that may want to hurt me (my paranoia), as I would not be able to fight back. I can't fight back now, anyway, due to my heart now. I become light-headed anytime I exert myself longer than a minute or so... this might be from those meds! The docs want to give me medicine for my heart now... more medicine, NO!! I am so sick of the medicine!!!! I am the type that hates having to depend on medicine, in the first place. Maybe all my problems I had with the medicines were because I was so inconsistent with taking them until my wife started giving them to me. That didn't last long because of me and the side-effects. I also hate whenever my wife and I argue, she throws the "Did you take your medicine today??" line at me. In any event I have reduced my medicine down to just the Effexor XR 75mg every two-three days. Once I cut my Welbutrin out (cold turkey), I immeddiately stopped being so apathetic although I still have a problem with hygiene (in my opinion), it is no longer to the extent it became after going on all these meds. Taking a shower does nothing to make me feel better because it reminds me again (as I stand naked), how far gone my body and health have become. I slowly, scaled down to the lowest dosage of Effexor I have now. I don't go no more than 4 days with out taking it because I start getting bad headaches and that 'swooshing' noise comes back; as if it's the lunch bell reminder...take your medicine (I wonder if the developers of this sh*t designed these drugs to be like that). I will eventually talk to a doc and try to get a 35mg dose of Effexor XR and maybe stick with it for a while until I can finally stop taking the sh*t all together.