Kathy,

I have to admit that I've had a bit of a rough time with this particular thread. Dealing with the deaths of family members remains a tender spot for me. I'm sure it will always be that way to some degree.

I remember someone posting about talking openly about death and the person who died. I thought it was here...but I didn't see it. My sister was diagnosed with her terminal illness 12 years before she died. She was the one who changed my family and how they deal with death. She would speak openly and frankly about it instead of in quiet whispers or not at all like we always did before.

As difficult as it was to deal with my father unexpected death and then my sister's death a year later, I know that it would have been much harder if we all hadn't learned to speak openly and honestly about what was going on or what had happened.

I don't know if this will help you at all, but I just wanted to mention it in the hopes that maybe it could help you and yours.

Lisa