Thank ya'll so much. Thank you Anthony for your alturism. I had only one counselor that I truly trusted to an extent. He has recently retired after 20 years of service to the Air Force. Every time I went to him, he was able to help me out with sorting my thoughts, providing me relief. He was outstanding at interpreting a lot of my dreams also. When my unit's squadron commander was punishing me for stuff I couldn't help, and although it did no good, that counselor was one of the individuals that stood up for me regardless of what he might face at the discretion of our commander. I consider him a friend, even though at the moment we don't stay in touch. He retired at exactly 20 years because, as he put it, he just couldn't stand to be a part of an 'impaired' (military) system that generally harms those in need of (mental) help.
There are a lot of great people in the military, but, I can tell you from 13.5 years of personal experience, there are some really rotten-to-the-core ones as well. The Office of the Secratary of the Air Force (OSAF) threw out that squadron commander's discharge recommendation and 'honorably' retired me (temporarily, if I get better) for PTSD. That squadron commander put in for retirement as my paperwork was being processed for final disposition by the OSAF, and has since retired. Just a coincidence, or was he (squad comm.) feeling guilty of how he treated an Iraq war Veteran/feared a tarnished career for those ill-actions ( a disgrace to himself considering he was never there)? Probably not (just another as$-hole), and I'll probably never know... he can kiss my ass though because I begged and cried to not be kicked out, I apologized for how I was and for stuff I didn't feel guilty of and could not help. And he was informed that I was suffering from PTSD, and at the time he had absolutely no mercy on me... as he (squadron commander) stated: "I feel he (me) is incompetent and is of no use to this organization." My boss said, "He is negative and devisive (devisive because some people actually stood up for me against them... that made me devisive), and the rest of the group would be better off with out him. He's rude and the others are scared of him." Well, fuuuuuuuuuu** them!!!!
Damn, freedom of speech is great. What's so sad is that those that fight for these freedoms as part of their military duties, are not allowed to have them no where close to the average citizen in America. I hope one day I can share my entire story and it brings destruction to stigma and maltreatment faced by those that hurt inside... maybe I will write a book?
I was about to erase all this after the second sentence ('cause I think I got sidetracked), but I'll let it stand as part of sharing my thoughts with ya'll. Thank you Boo-Damphir. Hopefully I can provide help.