Well here I am once more tiffany, as promised. It is a bit of a complex situation. Some of what you describe sounds like PTSD. However, it could also simply be, as your family and friends suggest, that he is having the proverbial "cold feet" regarding a committed relationship. It it difficult to judge for certain and truly unfortunate that he will not see a doctor to be evaluated. A diagnosis one way or the other would make matters clearer for both of you.

Tiffany, how old are you? How old is he? If you are both quite young this may also be a factor. In any event, the only thing you can really do is educate yourself about PTSD and take care of yourself as much as possible. Think about what you want for your life independent of your fiance. PTSD, if he indeed has it, is a lifelong illness with no cure at present. Those with PTSD can reach a management stage where they are quite well and high-functioning, but they must be willing to examine themselves and receive treatment to reach this stage. As your fiance will not even see a doctor at present, if he has PTSD, he is currently in the unmanaged stage, and could very well remain that way for years to come. Similar to someone with a drug or alcohol problem, there is nothing you can do to force him to receive treatment and become well; he must do these things himself in order for it to be effective. You can be there to encourage him, and you can learn techniques and tools to make his life less stressful, but it in the long run only he may help himself.

You said you can't go through this again. That is valid. Please listen to your instincts. Perhaps you should let him know this, if you haven't already. Not as pressure or as a threat, but simply the honest truth. Honesty is important in any relationship. If he truly loves you and wants to be with you, perhaps you telling him this will be the kickstart he needs to see a physician. However, it may not happen overnight. It may take weeks or months for him to reach the realization, even after speaking with you candidly. That is the nature of PTSD unfortunately.

I am sorry I cannot give you any definitive answers tiffany. Truly, there are no easy solutions. You must concentrate on your own happiness, as difficult as that is at the moment. Seek comfort in friends and family, read and learn here as much as you can. Seek professional help for yourself if you find you are depressed or this is otherwise interferring with your life. Remember you count too. I do wish you all the best and look forward to chatting with you more if you like.